Celebrity Big Brother?

So the final Celebrity Big Brother has started, and with the theme being hell I can safely say the start has been more of a match than a bonfire.

Eleven 'celebrities' have entered the house for the next month. I am going to use the word celebrity very loosely here as the majority are either Z-Lister's or a nobody.

Here is a rundown of the people who have entered the house and my opinion of them:

Stephen Baldwin
The show started of with a Hollywood celebrity and the thought was, that this could be just one of the best line-ups ever.

I'm not a fan of Stephen and don't think I have actually seen a film with him in it, but he must be good at what he does. Right?

Although the question does rise on why he would do reality shows? He also did 'I'm a Celebrity...Get me out of Here' in the US in 2009 and 'Celebrity Apprentice' the year before that.

Stephen Baldwin's Official Website

Natalie T
The world 'celebrity' is used loosely for the next housemate. Saying that, it's a bit like her career. Loose!!!

If getting your baps out and shagging footballers makes you a celeb, then where do I sign up?

I have never heard of this Jordan wannabe, although something tells me that she has been put in to titillate the male 'straight' viewers, just like they do in every celeb show (although some are actually celebs).

Alex Reid
Another Z-list to add to the pot. Originally famous for starring in Hollyoaks and getting 7 kinds of poo-poo (incase my mum reads this) out of him in a cage (incidentally he looks like he has as well). Now more famous for going out with the biggest trollop in the world....Jordan.

I understand why he is going in, because he wants to show people that he isn't the bad guy that everyone makes him out to be. He has earned this reputation just being with Jordan.

However his entrance was full of pure arrogance and cockiness, something tells me that he may make a bigger tit of himself than Jordan's 34FF (or whatever they are now).

Stephanie Beacham
Another proper celeb is entering the house. I am shocked!!! After being in the business for 40 odd years, I think she is entitled to have the status don't you?

This is the celeb Chris is all excited about. He loves the fact that as a British actress, and she still remembers her roots and comes back to the UK to star in television programmes.

I think she will be a good housemate, because she has this air of old fashioned showbusiness about her. So it will be interesting to see how she handles what Big Brother throws at her.

Stephanie Beacham's Official Website (WARNING: The site is pants!!!)

Lady Sovereign
Believe it or not, I have actually heard of Lady Sov. I quite like her track 'So Human'. Get me being down with the kids!!!

However is she a celeb? Probably, but taken into account this is meant to be the last Celeb Big Brother and was promised bigger names, I have to say she is more y-list than d-list.

I wasn't expecting Kylie to enter the house, but someone a little more chart exposure would be nice. Even Sonia would have been a better choice...Oh what a thought!!!

Lady Sovereign's Official Website

Sisqo
Most famous for signing about thongs (which he just had to sign on the launch show) and then he just seemed to have disappeared, just like a thong up the crack of your butt cheeks.

He oozes rapper; sorry singer arrogance. I just hope he ain't going to be annoying as Coolio.

So does that mean when he leaves the house we are expecting a song about another article of clothing? I suggest he should try and make Granny Knickers the next release.

Dane Bowers
The whole reason why Dane has entered the house is due to Alex Reid and the hope that there may be some fireworks between them. Although something tells me they will most likely be those pathetic ones that go just 'puff' instead of 'whoosh...bang'.

I have to say that just before he entered the house, he looked really sweet with his nerves showing. Something tells me that he might be entertaining. We shall have to wait and see.

Dane Bowers' Official Website (WARNING: Extremely out-of-date)

Heidi Fleiss
I never thought it would be possible to find a 'celeb' as low as Jordan or Jodie Marsh, but no Celeb Big Brother have found one. An actual Madam. She hasn't done anything to be famous for apart from find tarts for rich celebs.

She served celebrities, it doesn't make her an actual celeb.

The whole reason they have placed her in the house is to see if she will blag about who has used her services, but don't get your hopes up I don't think it will happen.

And was I the only one that thought Heidi wasn't on this planet when she entered the house?

Jonas (aka Basshunter)
A celebrity that is more current in the charts than the previous. Even Chris went 'oh I know this one' which says something.

Appearing in the tuxedo gave him an air of geekiness in a cute way. However something tells me that he is going to be a bit of a party animal when he gets going.

Basshunter's Official Website



Katia Ivanova
And just when you thought it couldn't get any lower than Heidi, they introduce someone who is purely known for having an affair with a Rolling Stone and then selling it to the papers.

Seriously since when has sleeping with someone and selling your story make you a celeb. I remember the days when you used to be a called a trollop. Oh wait, they still do?




Vinnie Jones
Probably seen as the big name out of the whole lot, and most likely end up being favourite to win.

Known for being a bad lad, I have a feeling he may turn out to be a proper laugh.

Rumour was that Gazza was meant to be entering the house, but the chances of him passing the psychology test where as high as Kerry Katona (who failed supposedly).

Vinnie Jones' Official Website (In need of a new website and updating)

If the line-up has anything to go by, then this years Celebrity Big Brother is going to be pants. Let's just hope that they have much more under their sleeves otherwise I wont be arsed about watching it.